Ladies and gents, the Willingham match reports are back!

Ladies and gents, the Willingham match reports are back and with a little extra future Paralympian spice. The mighty Buccs looked to defend their current unbeaten record in the pantheon of English rugby, the Eastern Merit League at home against mid table side, Barton. Barton have had mixed results this season so it was difficult to know which side would turn up. It turns out an aggressive one arrived and one which potentially comfort eats their anger issues away.

The game kicked off with fullback, Parky doing the honours and pinning the opposition in their 22. Barton were eager to make an impression and opted to hold onto the ball to develop some phases. This would be their first error. After a few carries leading up to near the 10m line, they opted to attack the short side despite the Buccs having a number advantage and the pressure forced a fumble from the Barton 15 which allowed 1st team man, Josh Britto the opportunity to hack the ball ahead and race the opposition winger to dot down 10m in from the right hand corner. Hass had brought his kicking boots today, 7 - 0, 4 minutes on the clock. Barton would kick off and it was to be collected, as always, by kick off return specialist and first team extraordinaire, Allenby, who set the platform for Sam Hass to do an absolutely outrageous clearance just outside his 22, to 50/22 the ball 10m out from the Barton line, outstanding. The forwards did the rest, lineout collected, rumble on and Melly got his first of the day from the back of the maul in a similar position to Britto’s. Unconverted this time, 12-0 and Barton were scratching their heads after having 90% of the ball.

Barton weren’t to be deterred and they continued to try to put phases together in attack, but the Ionian’s defence held strong. Around the 18 minute mark, Hass would once again put in a massive clearance forcing the opposition back into their 22. Barton would retain possession and break down the left hand side to bring them up to the halfway mark but were bulldozed into touch by the Buccs’ backfield. Somewhere amongst the attack the Buccs scrum half, Al Edwards was deemed to have put in a high shot and was sent for a 10 minute rest. Quite perplexing as no one saw it and I’m not sure Al did either. Shortly after, the ref would even the card distribution up after the Barton flanker got yellow carded for shoulder charging rucks at every opportunity. Think the bloke was in withdrawals, don’t do drugs kids.

Then things started getting tasty. Barton were looking to disrupt at every opportunity and not particularly within the laws of the game. Ry Platten saw something which he didn’t like and snapped into work mode, good job he didn’t have his baton. Some fists were thrown and a midfield brawl commenced in which Matt 'Wolfy' Jeffery got German suplexed and young Josh Dawson took a knee to his nether region, some would say Barton fight dirty. Huw, our well spoken prop, would go on to say that the opposition team “didn’t play in the spirit in which rugby should be played”, and it’s possibly the wettest thing that anyone has ever said whilst in an Ionians shirt. Sometimes rugby is aggressive as it should be and in fairness, the ref did well to recover and keep a lid on things. Ry got a 10 minute rest and temperatures were high. Despite I’s having 13 men on the field, we were the better team and forced Barton into making silly errors. The Barton 15 would go for an ambitious chip and chase from his own 5m line, which you love to see, dare to dream kid… but alas it was terrible. Allenby collected as always and the platform was built from there. A few phases later and the man of the moment, Gill who had been peppering the Barton defence with some terrifying carries freight trained it over from 10m out near the posts, score converted by Hass 19-0, 6 minutes left in the half. Barton would continue to try and press Ionians in attack but every single Ionian defended hard and were certainly up to the challenge. The problem was the breakdown as Barton contested at every opportunity (not always within the law) and it often meant messy ball for our scrum half, Al Edwards to mop up. Calm heads were therefore required and Sam Hass would once again put in an enormous 50/22, gifting our forwards another lineout opportunity 7m from the line. Hass would be rewarded with a late shot for his kicking efforts. Once again, the forwards didn’t rest, lineout collected, driving maul and who else but the Moose goes over for a meat pie. Extras missed, half time oranges, 24-0 and Ry Platten up on points advantage in the boxing.

The 2nd half would continue in much the same vein. At the 44 minute mark, Al would get on the scoreboard running a nice support line from some lovely backfield play between Josh, Britton and Hass who broke down the left hand side 40m out. Extras converted, 31-0. Barton were now needing a miracle and about 50 minutes in the Barton 9, who was shaped like a religious entity (Buddha) thought he could provide it. He took a quick tap with ambition to canter in the 70m. 15m in he inevitably ran out of steam and toe punted the ball straight to our winger, Josh Parker who returned the ball to set up some more phases in attack. Karma for the earlier fisticuffs maybe? 5 minutes later Britto would hand off his opposing centres and step the fullback to go in under the posts for another converted score, 38-0. Things were looking a bit one sided but after some poor discipline from I’s, Barton managed to find themselves some territory and started stringing together phases in our 22. The ball would be distributed to the large Barton centre who would draw in a few defenders and slot a nicely weighted grubber into the corner which was grounded (rather questionably) by the Barton winger for their first and only score. Buddha would convert from the corner, unreal tekkers from the big lad, 38-7, 18 minutes to go.

8 minutes later Lew Parky would be rewarded for his attacking efforts after an overlap exploited by Hass and Britto made the space for Parky to saunter in under the posts. 45-7. The game was certainly put to bed but both teams still had fight. Ionians weren’t done yet and Gill would break through the defensive line to set up an attack which found Melly in space. The utility specialist rolled back the years and goose stepped his way in from 10m out near the corner. Unconverted, 50-7, and the Allenby 50 point plan in the bag. The final act of the day saw winger, Josh Parker break down the left hand side from the halfway and find ourselves 10m out. Al would snipe to gain some extra metres but would be denied a score. Moose who has slightly more timber than our scrum half wouldn’t be denied, he crashed over from 3m out to get his 2nd meat pie of the day which would go converted, 57-7, final whistle.

Notable mentions go to the full squad, a proper 21 man effort from an aggressive team which Ionians didn’t shy away from. Gill our second row, was absolutely outstanding, carrying hard, tackling everything and even finding himself in some space distributing 15m passes. What a man. Deserved MoM performance from a player going form strength to strength. Backs wise, Hass had an outstanding game kicking out of hand which gave us the platform we kicked on from, and Parky was in his element in attack, finding gaps and putting wingers through at every opportunity. Forwards wise, a nod has to go to the full pack, for finally having a dominant scrum, Benn Wilson came on from the bench and had a solid performance in all areas, as did Ry and Moose. But nod has to go to Melly, our utility man and expert Hooker, 2 tries and great round the park.

It’s certainly a tough watch from the sidelines watching your mates and team play when you can’t but it’s reassuring that it’s in such safe hands. Don’t play too well Al though, please, I’ll be back!